the last emo

xinyu, jiajin, haz, maz n szerui hv just left aft making such a mess in my rm.. but now tt the house is quiet, i feel sorta lonely. esp when i saw the friendster changes he made just the v sec aft he amended it. haha.. so much for logging in to laugh at haz's new crush or maz's new bf. his name appeared in the "latest network activity list" okay.. i didn't deliberately seek hurt by visiting his pg or something.

i suppose i hv been holding onto things i cannot keep. all the while thinking he felt the same way abt me (i really honestly believed so).. many a times i wanted to let go but i somehow ended up convincing myself tt if i gave just a little more he wld come to appreciate it.

i thought i looked better now. i thought i dressed better now. i thought i behaved better now. but either i thought wrongly or i erred so badly in the past, the memories wun allow him to reaccept me.

i didn't treasure what i had so i lost it all at once. i guess the problem just lies with me.